Transition with Love
by Mary Bell Nyman

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Yesterday I learned that my step cousin’s son died in his sleep at 33. He had a snack with his parents and went to bed, only to be discovered dead the next morning. I thought of the last words they spoke, the tones of their conversation and the belief they would see him again in the morning. Death catches us off guard even when we think we are prepared for it, and even more so when we aren’t. We all want to be reassured that the one we lost knows how much they meant to us. Can they feel our love and do they know how much we miss them?

Death has been on my mind for several weeks. I passed the second year of my father’s death just as we put our beloved Shi Tzu, Teddy, to sleep. Home is far too quiet. There is no one scrunching up the bed covers, no licks on our chins, no tail wagging so hard you think it must come off, no heart busting with love, eager to be with you every minute of the day. I called Teddy God’s littlest angel. I felt blessed that he came to us to love. I was the best mom I could be to this little bundle of fur, and showed him with my patience and my love that each day with him was a celebration. In the back of my mind I never saw him dying nor could imagine a world without him in it, and I never knew how empty my arms would be without him. I tell his sister, Zuzu Petals, that he is running free and playing with the birds outside, happy and content.

I feel Fall more intensely this year; the completion of the cycles, the ending of a story, the dying so real. We all know life goes on and that the pain will lessen, that we will heal; just as we know the winter will sweep in—washing away the vestiges of fall. Then, one day, out of nowhere a crocus will peek its head out of the soil and declare Spring. It is a never-ending cycle. It affects all of us. We have all felt both sides of dying and rebirth.

I have been giving myself room to heal by being gentle and compassionate with myself throughout my day. I fire judging voices that say, “Get over it! Teddy was just a dog.” I let the tears come and cry with my husband, as we grieve the sweetest puppy we ever knew. We tell funny Teddy stories and are so grateful we had 12 years with him. I think too often we have to minimize how we feel because life keeps demanding we step up to the plate, no matter where our hearts are.

So this Fall, take time in your life to grieve, to let go of dreams that haven’t come into fruition, or to let things die that no longer serve you. Sit quietly and reflect on those losses, giving grief a voice so it can be heard and doesn’t have to stay locked within you forever. Take slow walks and celebrate all that you have created this year; drinking in the earth as she goes about her changes from green to red, yellow and brown. As you slow down, find appreciation for what you have in your life. Call old friends, let the ones you live with know how much you love them, or take time off to just savor the day.

Fall brings us full circle and we need to have all that it offers. Meditate and look inside yourself and discover what Fall is showing you this year. Meditation has taught me how to be kind to myself and gentle with my thoughts. It is my rock when my grief feels bigger than I am. I know how to go to that place within and find my center, my stillness, my peace. Celebrate the love, for in the end, that is all that we are and all that we have. I wish you a blessed Fall this year. Namaste.


"Give the gifts of love, hope and peace."
-Rev. Mary Bell Nyman

Rev. Mary Bell Nyman is Graduate Director of the Psychic Horizons Center and has been teaching and reading for twenty-five years. She teaches six-month clairvoyant and healing classes. Call Mary at 303-554-6465 or send email to marybellness@comcast.net for a reading or information.

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